“Love”, a beautiful, psychedelic word, romantic and pleasant to use. Many people use the word “love” or the phrase “I love you”. But it has no definite meaning (?) .
Whether connotatively or denotatively, the context upon which this lexem or phrase is used cannot go unconsidered. A child telling her mother “I love you” cannot assume the same meaning as a young guy telling a lady the same thing. More often than not, people say they fell in love. Others simply say they are in love. So, “falling in love”, “being in love” what do they mean?
I am not a love maniac, love master or a psychoanalyst of the love wand; and that is also far from the mission of this paper. My ordeal in attempting to love in a romantic fervour is the epicenter of this endeavour. But mind you, it’s all a fictitious venture, aimed at titillating your fancy!
I have been trying to understand love and what it means. Linguistically, the term does harbour some semantic implications. Socially speaking, the word has a place in the society. I am not unaware that there are different words like this in the arsenal of language repertoire. But in all of these, no one has been able to capture in clear definitive terms, what love is. Some are of the notion that there is fake and true love.
I also know as you do that there’s the agape love, platonic love, romantic love, filial love, erotic love, and banal love. Whether verbally expressed as “I love you”, carefully written as “I love you”, demonstrated in action, or poetically laced in lines of aesthetically rhythmic lyricism, love is love.
Schools of thought and love experts all over the globe may have different explanations, definitions and takes on what love is, has been, and should be.
It’s no doubt however that there are lots of reasons or factors that could lead to a person falling in love. (You do know the love I am referring to at this juncture, because I can see that your love antenna is being tuned to an octave frequency). Such factors include but are not limited to similarity in attitudes, background, personality traits, geographical proximity, desirable characteristics of personality and appearance, reciprocal affection; satisfying needs, physical and emotional arousal, social influences, norms and the approval of people in our circles; specific cues in the beloved’s voice, eyes, posture, way of moving, readiness for a romantic relationship, opportunities to be together alone, and mysteries in the situation or the person.
I have taken out my time to tell you why people may fallen in love because I am not John Snow of GOT in love affairs. Those reasons may appear abstract, but the first three— appearance, emotional arousal and ready for a romantic relationship does seem to be king in the sheath.
At first sight, people seem to be magnetically attracted to each other. Love is a phenomenon that is beyond Heracles to twist. It is inexhaustible in discourse.
The universality of love is one that defied the expertise philosophers, sociologists, love experts, religionists and humanists, a knowledge of quintessence understanding. Humans fall in love for reasons and purposes other than what I have adduced above. Many have argued that love is better explained than defined. Good for them. I believe that you reading this also have your own magisterial claim on the meaning of love.
Plenty of books on love abound. The internet is awash with gist on love and how to find and fall in love. Quotable quotes are not on the subject are never scarce. It has gained the admiration of some rookie romantic sensual writers— as they produce pamphlets graced with catchy, inviting, enticing and loosely poetic short messages which could be sent to someone you either admire, adore, like, love, or lust after.
Love, I cannot deceive the gods, can be either real or not. I don’t know. But then, there’s love, whether as an expression of feelings, and emotional arousal for attachment, bonding and living, by two people. I have heard people say there’s love at first sight. Others maintain that love grows, and I have asked the question “how long does it take to fall in love”? A friend of mine in an American movie says it takes 4hours, 29munites and 19seconds to fall in love. What’s your poser on this?
Here is mine:
I fell in love (?). We have been together for about 4hours, 29munites and 19 seconds, and I have been drooling over her like a restlessly charged cock. Like Sampson head-over-heels for Delilah, “she pleaseth me most”. She’s all I need forever—till death do us part. Does she even know this? Does she feel what I feel, know my thoughts? I cannot tell. I was consumed by feelings for her: emotional trepidation, and an internal combustive inferno of blissful magnificence.
Because I studied English, and have heard that some feminine figures are usually enthralled by words poured on them, I deployed my linguistic apparatchik to woo her better than the Romeo and Juliet canisterlic cinnamon. I quickly turned Robert Browning. Hear me talk to this beautiful woman whom I desire so shamelessly:
“Your mesmerizing conspicuousness delights my senses and your very presence is the glamorous presence of divinity on earth?
She gave me a royal, love coloured smile. “You are Janet, right?” She agreed . I said “Good. That gratifies my innermost sensitivity. I like you because you are a delectable consequence of a sublime femininity. You are so fine that scented roses and petals of flowers should litter the ground whereupon you trod. You are so hot that you make the sun shy and humble. You are so gorgeous that my jealousy and envy rests on the clothes and fabrics that hug your succulent delicate body so close. In fact, you are the direct quintessence of ecclesiastical embodiment.
Jane swallowed all of these verbal cannon and accepted my panegyric oratory prowess. We were entangled for three weeks. We met in a mall while she asked me to help her write an annotated autograph. So, I seized the moment. We clicked. It worked like a medicine prepared by the most powerful juju man in Oshogbo. My verbal love portion is potent indeed!
One fateful morning, with a bottle of tiger nuts (aki awusa) in my right hand, and she sitting adjacent my pillow, I turned 180 degrees to be sure that she was exuding good vibes. At my glance, she gave me a charming, disarming and alluring Eve-like smile which caused an eruption in my adrenaline. I immediately resumed my praises.
“Blessed art thou amongst women. The apocryphal ointment your talon cannot be equated. A lady whose worth no man can bargain. For thousands of ages in the Grecian pantheon, your look has been the envy of the gods. Your type is a rare gem. Angels of Korea are but man-made inanities, but your comeliness is the intricate art of the Most High. Eons will pass and my love for you will meet no doldrums— for sages are but temporary lords of uncanny chagrin; but I will admire your body in ever state till infinity.
You are worth more than Helen of Troy; mother of the sisters yet unborn; kings and princes your bowel shall produce for your womb has the fertility of the Nile fountain.
If kisses were water, I would give you the sea. If hugs and embrace were leaves, I would give you the forest, and if friendship was life, mine, yours shall be. Quite simply considered, I will love you one thousand years betimes, for your breed is but a scarce diadem. My inamorata, you are truly a jewel of unknowable value, and a pearl of uncommon purpose.”
After rattling out all of these Shakespearean verses, she was all mine. I won her heart. She had never heard such admiration in her entire life. With a heavy thud of surrender, she threw her whole being into my widely opened and awaiting arms. The cuddling was beyond your imagination. Just don’t try to think about it— because you wouldn’t be able to fully comprehend it. The caressing, racooning and drooling even offended the devil and his assistants.
Not long after about seven weeks were accomplished, when I thought that I have found and fallen in love, my euphoria was poisoned. Janet righteously told me that she was going. When I heard this, my lungs jumped out of their place. I enquired carefully, “To where”? “To see my mum”, she said. Then I was at ease again.
She left in the morning, about 8:15. On the dot of 11:15 am, I telephoned her thus: “Hello, sweetheart! It seems like a long time since we saw each other. It does appear like centuries when our faces last met. I can never be too busy to be touched with the feelings of your emotion. When you left this morning, my fears rose higher than Mount Everest, that I might lose you. When next I see you baby, I am going to hug you as though that’s our last time together. I will embrace you as if I am going to lose you. I shall hold you tight as though I am saying goodbye. I shall encircle you around my arms so you can be nearer than my skin. I shall smile and look at your innocent face, like my mama used to do, because the tie that binds us together is inseparable. It’s a blood bond that has mixed into the veins , flowing in my very breath. The symphony of my lyrics is in the alphabet of your name.
I shall keep mirroring you in my calendar of memories in the little box at the center of my heart. Let the tenor of your voice send a rhythmically soothing and reassuring lullaby to keep my troubled heart awake for you, darling. On the table of your heart, is my love resident. Your love is my family. Your family is my future. Your future is my destiny. Your destiny is my ambition. Your ambition is my inspiration. Your inspiration is my motivation. Your motivation is my belief. Your belief is my philosophy and peace, and the two, are my target. Why should we disentangle from each other with that curvy dimple seating on your cheeks as a simple single damsel who can mingle and wangle with a steak of pringles among gentlemen without pimples? We can tangle for eternity, mi lady! May our path never close.”
All of these I said solemnly, soberly, and droopingly. When I woke up, ladies and gentlemen, IT WAS A DREAM. Hahahahah! Wait o, is mine love at first sight, or I really fell in love?