By Abdulkhaliq Olanrewanju
“Las Las, na everybody go chop breakfast,” “You go chop breakfast, I am not capping,” “Breakfast na national cake.” These are rather common lyrics from Nigerian pop songs which depict, well, “breakfast” as what everyone must experience. Truly, almost everyone has experienced disappointments one way or the other. We are all humans and to err is human. We are likely to disappoint one another.
In different contexts, “Breakfast” can be served by one’s boss, parents, friends, colleagues. The most common form of all being a heartbreaking experience or breakup occurs from one’s lover.
“Breakfast” is so common that it can be predicted that an average person reading this write-up has been served one, either hot or cold. Though there is a serious question, in a world full of heartbreaking moments and disappointments, are we able to carve out a blessing from these disappointments?
Sometimes, it pays to know that a “breakfast” from one’s better half is an opportunity for one’s better self. This may look greek but I believe you will understand better by the time you reach the end of this writing.
There are records of young folks who have experienced heartbreaking moments which led them to unimaginable states. Some resolve to consumption of alcohol and hard drugs to cope with the depression and anxiety that accompany the “breakfast.” Some suffer from psychological trauma that they conclude on committing suicide. In this case, “breakfast” is a breakdown for these sets of people at the receiving end because it affects their mental state of being and negatively alters their self-perception. It may go to the extreme of disrupting their life plans or permanently influence their perception about the world.
Heartbreak can make people suffer from hallucinations and flashbacks of scenes from before the “breakfast.” These people are more likely to suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD) and/or even emotional disorders.
“Breakfast” as a breakthrough is a process of subjecting oneself to what’s called ‘reframing’ because while heartbreak is naturally saddening, we can end up being happy by monitoring our perception about the heartbreak. For instance, if you receive a breakup message from your lover, instead of getting sad and worried, you can grieve for some time and eventually reframe the message as losing someone who doesn’t care about you, even if you care about them. In such case, you may emerge happy and remain cheerful. Sadly, this is easier said than done because it requires a lot of self-motivation and determination.
Here are ways in which you can turn your heartbreaking experiences into happiness and how you can cope with heartbreak.
- Permit yourself to believe what has happened.
- Permit yourself to feel sad (because heartbreak is truly painful).
- Cry out, if the need arises (crying is a healthy way of expressing emotion).
- Erase negative thoughts about the “breakfast.“
- Never forget the reason you were served.
- Engage yourself in positive talks.
- Reach out to your loved ones for social support (you are not alone in this world).
- Make sure you take good care of yourself.
- Endeavour to manage and cope with your daily stress.
- Engage yourself in physical exercise.
- Get rid of anything that reminds you of the “breakfast.”
- If possible, cut off contact with the person that served you.
- Engage in new things to boost your confidence.
- Meet and relate with new people.
- Help people around you.
- Exercise patience and practice self-regulation.
- When you feel depressed, consult a therapist.
These are strategic processes for coping with your heartbreak. One of the points mentioned above is not forgetting the reason behind your heartbreak, this is very necessary because it will trigger you to become a better version of yourself. Remember there’s always a reason for “breakfast,” even if you are not told, you can figure that out yourself. If your heartbreak eventually leads you to a better self, that’s an indication that it is nothing but a breakthrough.